6 months and 10 days clean

it’s over. is a relapse caused by a habit you have formed over the past few years of your life and you feel you can never escape from that part of yourself, that you will always carry your sadness along with you no matter how long you live?

or is a relapse just you being so, fucking weak?

[edited at 4:30pm]

today i had a cigarette after so long. i haven’t smoked while sober in a very long time, but i felt such a strong longing for it. i needed it but giving in to such desires makes me feel so, so pathetic.


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