i am so glad i joined this bunch for cg after A’s. at first, i wasn’t really that keen on joining any cg because everyone has been with the same group and i thought i would feel very out of place if i just joined one out of the blue. they proved me wrong, though. they were so welcoming, so open, so friendly i really don’t know what i would do on tuesday evenings if i ever stop going for cg.
it was right after A’s and i felt… really lost. this was because i suddenly had all the time in the world and i did not have the excuse of needing to study to escape from interactions, and from actually dealing with all the suppress thoughts and emotions. that period of time was when i felt so far away from God i did not even want to go to church. i think i was talking to van about it right after my last paper and on that particular sunday i did not appear in church, she drove to my place after church to get me out. it was a nice feeling, you know, being cared for. we talked for a bit and the cg topic came up. i think we all knew that if i was going to join a cg, it would be pch’s, considering the distance.
sundays after sundays, pch would urge me to join cg and charissa was also like “eh see you at cg ah!” i think it was after youth camp that i decided i wanted God in my life… to be able to forgive and forget and to let God handle my life, so i started going for cg. it’s going to sound so cliché, but cg changed my life. instead of feeling left out, i felt so welcomed, and i still do, i feel so at ease now.
it is only through cg i learnt so much more about the people in there, like how wilson is one of the most self-sacrificial person i have ever met, in the ways he serves and gives his all, how charissa isn’t afraid to articulate her thoughts even as the label “pastor’s kid” has stuck on, how cheryl has a soft and loving heart underneath her witty exterior, how danny sees people in the cg as people he cares about, enough to pay attention to their problems, tries to liven situations and also be blatantly honest at every moment, how felicia has gone through so many struggles and yet trusts God so deeply, how keong has a faith so simple it makes you wonder why you complicate things with your feelings and desires, how ann is so friendly, sees so much good in everyone and takes it upon herself to settle all the cg funds, how nic is actually nice and loving, unlike his fierce and cold image, how sister dency is ever so thankful for the littlest things in life, how pch is always ready to give advice and leave ample room for discussions instead of just forcing truths down our throats, and how van readily sends us back every single tuesday even after a long day in school and how she will always listen to rants and is just, there.
so tonight, we were trying to decide on how much this should cost. a few of them went on carousell and instagram to check out the current prices, while felicia was asking pch how much he thought it should be and he said “to be honest, i think this is worth $100.” (taking into account the time spent on it.) that shocked me because i was thinking of only accepting $20 since i never had any professional training so some may say i don’t actually have the right techniques since i design by feel. then ann, cheryl and charissa said it ranges from $30 to $120 per piece and then danny decided to count per hour, so he settled for $80. nic was like “wow, you have a job now” (and ann said it means he approves and might actually want me to design something for their wedding!). i really… don’t know how i got so lucky to meet these lovely bunch of people who actually see some potential in me. it warms my heart to know they have so much faith in my designs even though i don’t think so highly of my designs.
eventually, pch told felicia to give me as much as she wants, but not tell others that that is its value. and it all worked out! she gave me $90 but then i felt bad because she was going to be the only one paying? and i don’t think that is fair, considering how she is actually doing this on behalf of the other bridesmaids and they were commenting on what i should change when i sent them my drafts… but they aren’t willing to pay so she’s paying alone? so i asked pch to decide how much i should keep and he told me to keep $50… so i think everything worked out well? i just find it really… unfair for felicia, because she is such a nice person she wouldn’t get upset just because the rest won’t pay for it. my first thought was “wow, so much for bridesmaids, aren’t they supposed to be close to the bride…” but okay i shouldn’t judge them. i’m just really glad everything worked out in the end.
also, i made a deal with charissa that i would design her invitations in exchange for not bao-ing angpao LOL. honestly i wouldn’t mind doing these things for the next 2 to 3 years for the cg couples getting married, it would be a fun and nice wedding gift!